Fierce Self-Care: The Boundary-Setting, Peace-Protecting Kind

Let’s get one thing straight — self-care isn’t bubble baths and candles. Real self-care is hard. It’s fierce. It’s unapologetic. It’s turning your phone off when the world gets too loud.

It’s saying no to things that don’t feel right — even when people don’t like it. It’s choosing rest without guilt. Choosing nourishment over punishment. Choosing truth over people-pleasing.

I’ve spent decades in this work — as a therapist, a clinical social worker, a woman who’s lived through some deeply personal pain — and here’s what I know: you can’t heal if you’re constantly abandoning yourself.

Self-Care Isn’t Always Soft

Sometimes self-care looks like turning down an invite. Sometimes it’s calling a friend and saying, I’m not okay — can we talk? Sometimes it’s sitting alone in silence because your brain finally needs a break.

Sometimes it’s eating the damn salad and skipping the wine because your body needs to feel strong, not numb. We’ve been taught that taking care of ourselves is selfish — that asking for help means we’re weak. That setting boundaries is rude. I call bullshit.

What Fierce Self-Care Looks Like:

• Turning your phone off for an hour (or a day) and letting the world wait.

• Saying no — to people, to plans, to pressure.

• Asking for help and letting someone show up for you.

• Prioritizing your body with sleep, protein, hydration, and food that fuels.

• Spending time alone — not because you’re broken, but because solitude is sacred.

• Spending time with people who lift you up, not weigh you down.

• Writing it out — journaling like your sanity depends on it (because sometimes it does).

• Letting things go — even when you weren’t given the apology you deserved.

And here’s the truth no one tells you:

You don’t owe anyone access to your energy. You don’t need a reason to rest. And you don’t need permission to protect your peace.

I’ve worked with women who seemed like they had it all — careers, marriages, homes, degrees. But inside, they were falling apart. And it almost always started with abandoning themselves in little ways.

Until one day they couldn’t do it anymore. That’s when the real work begins. That’s when we reclaim.

If you’re ready to take that first step — not into perfection, but into presence — start with five minutes. A walk. A journal entry. A good meal. A nap. Start where you are. Start by choosing you.

❤️ Jamie

Truth-teller. Firestarter. Someone who fiercely believes in your healing.

STG Wellness was founded by Jamie Codispoti, LCSW.

We create bold, therapist-designed journals that help women reconnect, reflect, and reclaim their power.

Because healing deserves space — and so do you.

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