No one talks about how lonely it is to be the first.

The first to go to therapy.
The first to set a boundary.
The first to say, “That behavior wasn’t okay — even if it was normalized.”

There’s a version of you you’ve been taught to shrink. The one that feels too emotional, too opinionated, too intense, too driven, too independent, too deep, too “extra.”

Before I really started healing, I didn’t know how to rest.
Not the kind where your body is on the couch but your brain is sprinting. I mean real rest — where you feel safe enough to pause without guilt.

There’s this lie we’ve been sold — that by your mid-20s or early 30s, you’re supposed to have it all figured out.

Career. Love. Friendships. Boundaries. Healing. Direction. Confidence.

There was a stretch of time — maybe a few years, maybe longer — where I was everything to everyone.

At the beginning of this year, I made a promise to myself.

I started drawing this invisible shield around my energy — one that only lets in what’s good, aligned, supportive, and real.

Grief didn’t knock gently. It stormed in, tore through everything I thought I knew, and left me staring at pieces of a life that didn’t fit anymore. I had to show up for my family, for my kids, for my clients — while quietly carrying a pain I didn’t have words for.

There was a time when I believed my worth came from how much I got done.

If I checked all the boxes.
If I kept the house perfect.
If I replied to every text right away.
If I said yes to every favor.
If I never dropped a single ball — then maybe I’d be enough.

There was a stretch of my life where I convinced myself I was easy. Low maintenance. No big deal. But the truth? I was just tired of being disappointed.

I was tired of asking for things and getting ignored.
Tired of expressing needs and being told I was difficult or demanding. So eventually, I stopped asking.

Moms are the schedulers. The food shoppers. The birthday gift buyers. The homework helpers. The ones who remember the doctor appointments, the class parties, the permission slips, the soccer games, and the fact that the dog is almost out of flea meds.

Stop calling it normal when it’s just exhausting.

Let’s say this out loud:
You’re not supposed to feel worse after talking to a friend.

You’re not supposed to:
    •    Dread their phone call.
    •    Make that big sigh before you answer.
    •    Feel your body tighten at the sound of their voice.
    •    Get annoyed when their name lights up your phone.
    •    Feel like you’re performing just to keep the peace.
    •    Walk on eggshells so they don’t spiral or snap.

No pretending. No performing. Just peace.

There are some friendships that make you exhale the second you sit down. Nothing is forced. Everything is easy. You don’t have to explain who you are — they just get it.

There’s a version of me my kids will never meet — and thank God for that.

There was a time when I walked into rooms and tried to become whatever version of me would make people most comfortable.

Not because I didn’t know who I was — but because I thought that was the safest way to move through the world.

There’s something sacred about sitting with someone in their most unfiltered moment. It’s not something I take lightly — and it’s not something I’ll ever stop honoring.

But if we’re going to do this healing thing together — you deserve the real story.

It’s not because it’s trendy. It’s not because I think you need one more thing to add to your already overwhelming to-do list. And it’s definitely not because it’s cute.

I ask you to journal because I know what happens when we don’t let things out.

Unspoken thoughts become pressure. Pushed-down pain becomes physical. Avoided emotions? They turn into patterns — the kind that sneak into your relationships, your confidence, your body, your sleep.

If you’re looking for a therapist who nods quietly and never shows emotion — I’m not her.

If you’re looking for someone who keeps their distance, asks how you feel without ever saying much back, and wraps every hard truth in a soft, palatable bow — I’m not her either.

I used to want to be the one everyone liked.

The easy one.
The one who never rocked the boat.
The one who could walk into any room and make everyone feel comfortable.

And I did it well —Until I realized how much of myself I was abandoning in the process.

There are a million journals out there. Some are cute. Some are quiet. Some are filled with “What are you grateful for today?” and “Take three deep breaths” — and that’s fine.

But that’s not what these are.

STG Wellness journals are different. They weren’t made for you to check a box. They weren’t made to sit unopened on your nightstand. They were built to cut through the noise.