The Day I Stopped Performing and Started Living: You’re allowed to stop playing the role and start living your truth.

There comes a day — usually after you’ve held your breath for way too long — when something inside you just snaps. You don’t faint. You don’t scream. You don’t run away. You decide.

You decide you’re done performing. Done being the strong one. The peacemaker. The overachiever. The woman who holds it all together while quietly falling apart. And if you’re anything like me, that moment doesn’t come with clarity. It comes with rage. And grief. And a voice inside whispering: “I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

The Roles We’re Taught to Play

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that we’re only lovable

if we’re:

• Helpful

• Pleasant

• Put together

• Quiet about what we need

We learn to smile when we want to scream. We learn to soothe others while abandoning ourselves. We learn to show up — wife, mother, therapist, daughter, friend — with no room left to show up for ourselves.

That’s not life. That’s performance. And eventually, the mask gets too damn heavy.

The Wake-Up Call

For me, it wasn’t one dramatic moment. It was a thousand little ones.

• Looking in the mirror and not recognizing the woman staring back

• Feeling disconnected from my own body, my own voice

• Saying “yes” when everything in me was screaming “no”

• Craving silence in a world that always expected me to be “on”

I had built a life that looked great from the outside — but didn’t feel like me on the inside. And when I finally told the truth? It didn’t ruin everything. It freed me.

What Living Actually Looks Like

Living isn’t perfection. It’s not productivity. It’s not how many people approve of you. Living is waking up to your own life again. It’s asking yourself hard questions and letting the answers wreck you in the best way. It’s writing the truth. Resting without guilt. Saying no without a speech. Choosing yourself — fully, loudly, unapologetically.

If You’re Tired of the Performance…

Start with this:

“What part of me have I been hiding just to make other people comfortable?”

“What version of me is ready to take up space again?”

You don’t have to wait until it all falls apart. You can stop performing now. You can start living. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Try This Journal if You’re Ready

If this post hit you in the chest — good. That’s your sign.

Start with The Aligned AF Journal, or [Back to Me: 30 Days to Remember Who the Hell I Am].

Because you’re allowed to tell the truth. You’re allowed to be the truth. No more performance. Just presence.

❤️ Jamie

Truth-teller. Firestarter. Someone who fiercely believes in your

healing.

STG Wellness was founded by licensed clinical social worker Jamie Codispoti.

We create bold, therapist-crafted guided journals to help you reflect, reconnect, and reclaim your voice.

Explore our bestselling journals at Etsy and Amazon

Learn more at sloanetherapygroup.com